My buddy Dharmendra Rama go way back and since the age of 6 we have been great friends, something which I am always thankful for. In my adult years however I have learned that it is always important to continuously review your friendships to ensure that they are as healthy as they should be. This is not something that is easy to do and there is a temptation to simply allow your friendships to grow and exist in the same way that they always have. With all of this being said there is genuine value which you can find in reviewing your friendships and taking action, and here is why that is so important.
Staying The Same
Consider those friends who you have known for very long time, if you met them for the first time today would you still get on? This is an important question which you must ask yourself because if the answer is no then you cannot let history be the only thing which keeps the friendship alive. This is not to say that you should be cutting people out of your life of course but there is a case to say that your energies would be better invested elsewhere.
One Way Street
Personally speaking I am a very giving friend and I always pride myself on selflessness. Unfortunately however what often occurs is that people recognize this and use it to take advantage of you, or they become accustomed to you doing things for them. I never do things so that other people will be thankful or repay me, but I am also very aware that living in a friendship where I am the only one who steps up to the plate is not healthy. This can often happen without you even recognizing it which is why it is always important that you review friendships and call people out if you feel that the balance is imperfect.
Bringing You Down
A slightly controversial but very real opinion is that most people strive to the level of their inner circle, and very often friendships could be holding people back from reaching their true potential. We are not referring necessarily to the career or lifestyle which a friend may have, but more their own attitudes towards progression and ambition. Friends should recognize your goals, they should support them and they should help you to stay motivated to achieve them. It doesn’t matter if they are making $10,000 a year or $200,000 per year, they should be on your side and be a positive influence to you.
The notion of not speaking to a friend for long periods of time then chatting like old times is wholly false and ultimately this passing of time will result in you missing out on huge amounts of your friend’s life. If you have friends you haven’t connected with for a long time then start thinking about why, and that may give you the answers which you are looking for, it is not hard to stay in touch.